Baby boomers - yes, we can relate to this

Thanks to the Guru for sending this. Carolyn and I had a good laugh - hope you do too.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL......YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .

'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, IN 1965.. WHY DO YOU ASK?

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THE UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ARSED,

GREY HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

BASTARD ASKED..

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'

Bit of fun (words) for baby boomers

The Washington Post's Mensa invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing only one letter, and supply a new definition. Some of the 2009 winning entries were:

Cashtration
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus
A person who is both stupid and an asshole.

Intaxication
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.

Sarchasm
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Caterpallor
The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fuit you are eating.

Inocullate
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

The Washington Post also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Some of the winners were:

Coffee
The person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted
Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Esplanade
To attempt an explanation while drunk.

Abdicate
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Testicle
A humorous question on an exam.

Frisbeetarianism
The belief that, after dealth, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets suck there.

Remember these baby boomers?

Baby boomers - Who are we???

Baby boomers dig this - Gotta luv a good cup of tea

Baby boomers know this - the difference between school and life?

Lest we forget
25  April 2013