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The Washington Post's Mensa invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing only one letter, and supply a new definition. Some of the 2009 winning entries were:
Cashtration
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
Ignoranus
A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Sarchasm
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Caterpallor
The colour you turn after finding half a worm in the fuit you are eating.
Inocullate
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
The Washington Post also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Some of the winners were:
Coffee
The person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted
Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
Esplanade
To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Abdicate
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Testicle
A humorous question on an exam.
Frisbeetarianism
The belief that, after dealth, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets suck there.
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